Even though you spent your whole educational life (infancy through college) studying verbal language (i.e., the spoken and written word), communication researchers have found that the vast majority of communication happens on a NONVERBAL level.
The best estimates are that…
Our nonverbal signals (facial expressions, vocal tonality, and body movements) account for anywhere from 66% to 93% of our communication.
Often we are not conscious of what we're doing with our bodies. If you feel nervous for instance, you may not notice that you’re constantly looking downward, clearing your throat, saying “um” and “ah” a lot, and tugging your ears.
But others around you, particularly girls, will pick up on those signals. Why do girls pick them up so easily? Because they've been trained to.
You see, the typical hot Girl has been hit on for so long that she has developed a keen sense for reading a guy's signals.
And then all of a sudden, at age 13, people get all weird. Occasionally a man who’s a complete stranger will say “excuse me” and then beg for her phone number. Then she notices that she can walk into a reception room and every male head will turn, even when it means the men are ignoring their dates.
She notices that guys act different when all she's trying to do is have a normal conversation with them.
Basically, the typical hot girl moves through life assuming that just about every guy is attracted to her. But she can’t give just any guy a chance. With a dozen guys throwing themselves at her at any given moment, how can she choose among them?
And even if she did decide to date one of them, she’d get stuck with some beta male who'd stifle her and take all the fun out of her life.
A Girl would rather be with a man who’s exciting
So because of this, the typical hot woman has had to learn how attractive men move. Or as one world-class woman put it to me, “I can tell if a guy is going to get laid simply by how he acts.”
This is an important point… guys who are getting laid act like it. This makes these alpha males attractive to chicks.
This is just like that old truism that banks only want to loan money to people who don’t need it. Well, that truism applies to a girl as well. They find guys sexually attractive who are already having sex.
This is good news for you though. It means you can short-circuit a woman’s mind by acting, through your body language, like a guy who has lots of sex. These are key, specific techniques (and a few to avoid) that attract the best girl… without ever speaking to them!
In a nutshell, the difference boils down to this… Men who get laid are relaxed and confident. Those who are sexually frustrated act in a manner that practically screams desperation.
Have you ever noticed the way a guy acts when he’s desperate? Probably you’ve done some or all of these following behaviors yourself (I know I have!)…
1) Leaning in toward the woman right after meeting her.
This is what most “creepy” guys who hit on girl do. They do this because they’re way too interested for having just met the woman.
A woman finds this to be creepy when she has done nothing to earn such attention from a guy. Obviously he just “wants something” from her.
Instead, use your body language to reward the woman. If she says something interesting, then (and only then) lean towards her.
2) Folding your arms.
This is a protective gesture people do when feeling nervous. If a woman detects that you feel nervous, it will instantly damage the attraction she feels for you
3) Holding your feet close together.
Beta males do this as a self-comforting gesture when they feel tense. It sends out a signal saying, “I'm not a threat!”
But the bottom line is that an alpha male is not afraid to take up space. So spread your feet when you stand, if you want Girl to later spread their legs when they’re lying down with you!
4) Asking a Girl questions in rapid fire.
The last 500 guys who hit on her did this too. Normal conversations involve people getting to know each other gradually, not through games of 20 Questions.
You also reveal too much of your interest in the Girl when you do the 20 Questions thing. It’s far better to simply make neutral statements rather than ask rapport-seeking questions.
5) Clearing your throat constantly and using vocalized pauses such as “um” and “ah.”
Ever felt anxious as you began giving a public speech? I bet you engaged in those behaviors then! Avoid making any of the noises that you emit when you feel nervous.
6) Trying to do all the talking. Not waiting for the Girl to speak.
This communicates to her that you’re afraid she’ll walk away. And if you don’t let her get a word in edgewise, she will.
An alpha male has so many girls in his life that he couldn’t care less if one of them walked away. And even if you don’t have so many girls, you can at least act like you do.
7) Getting drunk before talking to girls.
Most guys seem to need “liquid courage” because they’re afraid of rejection. So merely by not being like them, you’ll separate yourself above the pack.
8) Smiling too often.
This is done in social situations when you're trying too hard to fit in. Also, as I explain in the chapter entitled, “24 Nonverbal Cues That Scream, 'I’m Non-Dominant’”, smiling is what beta primates do to show alphas that they’re not a threat. So don't smile unless there’s something to smile about. How To Get A Girl to Like You
One of the most educational activities you can engage in is people watching. Find the guys with the most confidence and success, and then model what they do.
Who are these guys? They are the CEOs and celebrities, the leaders and men of high status in society.
They stay calm under pressure and have strong self-esteem, an attitude about themselves that is superhuman.
Watch their body language… how they move, how they stand, and how they use their voice. They radiate massive confidence with every motion they make because they carry themselves in a controlled, relaxed manner. Here is a list of things that alpha males do to get a girl.
1) Keep their movements and voice entirely consistent.
If the mood of the conversation is low energy, then they sit back and spread out in their seat and speak calmly.
If anything is out of sync… like say you move and talk like George Clooney but fidget by bouncing your knee up and down when sitting… then people will think you’re just trying too hard to look cool.
But if you stay consistent and congruent, then people will think you are cool.
2) Spread out.
Alpha males aren’t afraid to keep their arms comfortably spread out while sitting or standing.
Nor are they ever afraid to be comfortable. For example, the alpha males at the top are apt to sit leaned back in their chairs, with their hands clasped behind their head and feet up on the desk.
3) Speak with open hands.
Watch children when they’re super pleased and want to tell you about something they’ve achieved. They'll show their hands openly, displaying their palms. Adult alpha males, who are free of feelings of defensiveness and fear, do the same thing.
4) Take up territory, even when it encroaches into others’ territory.
Alpha males will touch someone’s arm to emphasize a point. They’ll spread out their legs and/or arms when standing in a crowd. They’ll put their arm around the shoulders of a man of lower status. They’ll spread around their possessions--e.g., newspaper and cellphone--when sitting in a cafe.
5) Stand proudly, with arms at their sides and shoulders in a comfortable position.
Try this exercise: Close your eyes, and wiggle your shoulders around and around. Then suddenly let your arms relax. See where they are at that point?
That's right… they’re by your side. And your shoulders are down rather than in a “shrugging” position.
6) Make frequent eye contact.
You don’t have to focus in on their eyeballs… just sort of let your eyes blur and gaze into their eyes rather than staring.
7) Blink less, since they feel relaxed.
8) Occasionally, when making a point, hold their hands with fingertips together in a “church steeple” shape, at face level.
Research on business executives has shown that the more important a man thinks he his (i.e., the higher his self-esteem), the higher he will hold his hands when doing this gesture.
9) Are rarely, if ever, truly in a hurry.
Usually alpha males walk and talk smoothly, as if they were completely in control of the world. They are the calm in the center of the storm.
10) Let others lean toward them in conversations, not the other way around.
11) Have a relaxed face.
Not frowning. Not laughing unless there’s something that’s truly funny. Not wrinkling their brows unless they hear something that genuinely fascinates them.
The following attributes are what a Girl finds attractive in a man, all of which are prototypical alpha male traits. As you work on your body language to be more spread out, slow, take up space, and so on, you can non-verbally convey these traits:
1) Being comfortable with yourself.
2) Being spontaneous rather than carefully controlled.
3) Not taking yourself too seriously.
4) Being interesting.
5) Being trustworthy. Do this by being congruent with your body language, rather than, for example, having a relaxed upper body and face but bouncing your knee up and down.
6) Making girl feel safe.
7) Being non-needy, so she's the one chasing him (not the other way around).
8) Feeling sexual.
9) Having good looks because you've worked on your appearance.
10) Having high self-esteem. Being sure of yourself.
11) Being exciting.
12) Being a leader.
Good body language
Good body language can come from one of two things… either your inner state is solid or you’ve got such great muscle memory that you’re always projecting the body language of an alpha male.
On the other hand, as well, the two feed off of each other… the more alpha you are on the outside, the more alpha you are on the inside. And vice versa.
But having said that, the more important of the two is having a solid inner state. The reason is that if you feel confident, happy, relaxed and in control, then your body language will reflect that without you even having to think about it.
If you’re thinking consciously about how tense your shoulders are and how you need to relax them, then you’ll distract yourself from focusing on your conversation.
But if you get yourself to the point where you are always the most relaxed person in any social situation, then your shoulders will naturally be loose.
However, as the old saying in the self-improvement industry goes, you can “fake it till you make it.”
The next time you’re in a conversation with somebody, catch yourself if you’re smiling for no good reason. Instead, relax your face. Catch yourself if you lean forward without the person having earned your interest. Instead, lean back.
After awhile, more alpha body language will become a natural impulse for you.
It’s kind of like the way you become good at typing. At first, the correct way to type can be awkward and difficult because you're so used to “hunting and pecking” with your pointer finger on the keyboard.
But as you develop more muscle memory, you develop the instincts that allow you to naturally move in the best possible way.
So work on both areas. Have solid inner game, with the power mindset of “I am confident, relaxed, happy, and in control. I am the most laid-back person in any social situation.” At the same time, retrain your muscles so that you always have the appropriate movements.
What If She Has a Boyfriend?
A reader asked me a particularly interesting question, which I’d like to share: “What if she has a boyfriend who’s bad for her, and I’d like her to go with me instead?”
I felt his pain. Particularly for a guy without a lot of experience with girl (and believe me, I’ve been there before), it can break your heart when you’ve found your dream girl – but she’s already someone else’s dream girl. This is especially sad when you realize how much better you would be for her than the complete loser she's dating.
If this describes you, don't worry. We've all been in this situation, and the good news is that the problem has been solved!
My answer was that first, don’t be like the typical chump who says clichés like, “He’s not right for you.” The girl has probably heard this a thousand times from a thousand guys, so you will need to be more subtle.
You need to get under her radar.
To do this, think of how a radar works -- it scans an area to see if there are any airplane-sized objects flying in a particular altitude. Why? Because that’s where planes commonly fly!
If a radar scans the sky at too low of an altitude, then there’s too much interference from other “false positives” (like tall trees) to get an accurate reading. So radars don’t bother with the low altitudes. And that’s why the smart pilots wanting to infiltrate territory will fly just above the tree tops.
Similarly, a Girl’s radar detects the typical tactics that guys use to try to get into her panties. And saying “You should dump that guy because he’s bad for you” is one of those triggers that sets off her radar!
So, how do you get under her radar and prevent an accurate reading of your intentions, you ask?
You do it by… defending the jerk who’s her boyfriend.
You read that right. The key is in the manner with which you “defend” him.
Do it in a way that makes him look like a needy loser. Tell her…
“You know what? It sounds like he’s acting that way because he’s afraid to show his vulnerability to you. He’s scared he’ll lose you entirely. He knows he can’t get another girl like you.”
To put it another way, no matter how good this other guy’s tactics are, re frame them to be those of a beta male. Talk about how he’s really nice and really needy…
“It's good that he didn't call you. Have you ever thought that he didn’t call you because he’s afraid of losing you?”
From there, you’ve planted the special seed in her mind, so you can go on with displaying attractive traits and getting her attracted to you.
Then watch as she almost unconsciously breaks her attachment to What’s-His-Name… while becoming irresistibly drawn to you.
So that’s how you get a Girl to start having amnesia about her loser boyfriend and start liking you instead.
But what about when it’s not a jerk, and instead she’s stuck with her beta-male boyfriend who's just not "doing it for her" in the bedroom?... and so you detect she wants to have some “no strings attached” sex with you (which is a lot more common that you might suspect)?
There’s no reason to try to break the two of them up if all she wants (and all you want) is sex rather than a relationship.
For such situations, there are four magic words you can tell her. These four ultra-powerful words are elegant in their simplicity and power and have worked wonders for me on many occasions to make the Girl instantly obsessed about having sex with me. And they’ll work for you too!
I’ve had sex with plenty of girl who have been stuck in relationships with boring men, and the road to the lay has always been paved by guarantees of discretion and secrecy.
Unfortunately, society has conditioned girl to fear the label of “slut.” Although it’s horrible that so many girl go through life being a slave to what other people think, there’s nothing you can do to change that fact. Instead you must work around it.
So key words for you to tell her are…
“We will keep everything discreet.”
Then quickly change the subject to something more interesting.
Telling her that the two of you will maintain discretion and keep everything under wraps will soothe that portion of her mind that says, “What if I get caught cheating? What if my friends and colleagues think I'm a whore?”
Quickly changing the subject prevents her from dwelling on the subject too much.
In the seduction process, the last thing you want is for a Girl to think. Instead you want her to feel. In other words, the way into a Girl’s panties is through emotions, not logic.
Another important point about human psychology that you need to understand is that people are situational and state-dependent.
The way this applies with girl(especially aGirl who is not happy with her boyfriend) is that if aGirl meets a guy who has been engaging her and making her feel amazing for the past hour, then she’ll conveniently forget about her boyfriend, because for the past hour, her boyfriend has NOT been the one making her feel so good.How To Get A Girl to Like You
That has been one of the most mind-blowing truths I’ve learned since becoming good with girl. Time and time again, I've seen firsthand how a girl can swear she’s in love with her boyfriend one moment, and then 8 hours later she’s practically forgotten about him.
It’s also instructive to have a lot of female friends. You’ll learn how often seemingly “wholesome” girl cheat on their boyfriends… and husbands… without the men ever catching on. (It’s important to note that a Girl will almost never cheat on an alpha male who keeps her attracted. Almost always it is the beta males or the jerks who get cheated on.)
So whether a Girl is dating some asshole who mistreats her, or some low-status guy who bores her, you can take advantage of that fact.
By the way, female promiscuity is not something that you should feel upset about. It’s a natural part of life. girl love sex just as we men do. It’s just that girl have to keep it a secret for the sake of their reputation.
If you want to have sex with a Girl who’s dating some guy who’s not right for her, not only should you assure her that no one will ever know about it, but you also shouldn’t try to replace her boyfriend.
A lot of men make that mistake. They’ll try to show this chick who’s been in an 11-month relationship that she can dump that other guy and have an instant replacement.
Unfortunately, girl don’t think that way about the men they date. For a Girl, a relationship is something to be eased into. So you need to make her feel comfortable with you. Don’t have her feel like you’re putting pressure on her.
The idea of you being the replacement for her boyfriend also communicates neediness on your part. An alpha male is sexual and lets girl be the ones who worry about the relationship aspects.
It took me awhile to crack that code, but once I did, I had success with many new girl over
the years by not putting any sort of relationship pressure on them. Every time, the girlhad a reaction of, “I love that we can just have sex and you won’t try to date me and call me 10 times a day like the other guys.”
When you first encounter this, it will revolutionize what you once thought you knew about girl. But it makes sense. You see, the last thing aGirl who’s getting over a bad relationship needs is yet another guy who’s going to give her bullshit and become a potential stalker! So just focus on the sex, and let the “relationship chips” fall where they may.
So, to sum up, when you’re trying to get a chick who’s stuck in a relationship with some loser, remember that the main thing you need to do is make her feel comfortable. Make sure she knows that anything the two of you do will be strictly confidential. Finally, make sure she knows that sex with you doesn't have to mean anything unless she wants it to.
Getting Over Your Social Anxiety
You don’t need prescription drugs, alcohol or therapy to get over your fear of talking to strangers. I have an exercise for you to do for the next two weeks, which involves saying just one word, which will help you get over your fears of talking to people.
And the more you do it, the more natural it will feel to chat people up.
The exercise is to simply say “hi” to everyone you run across. It doesn't matter who… whether it’s an elderly man, a kid, a fat Girl, the mailman, or a hot chick.
When you walk down the sidewalk and pass by someone, say “hi.” When you’re at work walking down a hallway, say “hi” to people. When you’re at the grocery store, say “hi” to your fellow shoppers as you pass them.
Here's the key though: don't wait for them to say “hi” back to you. Don’t even care whether they reply to you.
Some people--especially hot girl who get hit on constantly--may ignore you when you greet them. But who gives a shit?
Look at it as if it is only a game. It is no big deal. The point of the exercise is to take the first baby step of getting over your fear of talking to strangers.
Remember, there is no need for you to care one bit what people think of you when you greet them.
Adopt the mindset that you’re pretending the person is familiar to you. In other words, pretend you’re an actor playing the part of someone smiling and saying “hi” to someone they recognize.
This will prevent you from being too self-analyzing when you’re running this exercise. Analysis causes doubt, and when you doubt, you sabotage yourself.
The only way to confront your fears is to face them head on. In order to quickly and consistently meet girl and get laid, you're going to have to develop the ability to comfortably talk to strangers. Period.
So, to sum up, go out there and say “hi” to everyone you meet for the next couple weeks. And don’t put one thought into what they think of you, nor whether they even say “hi” back.
Finally, don’t put pressure on yourself to have any sort of conversation after your greeting.
How to Detach Yourself From Desperation
Animals smell fear, and girl smell desperation.
If you’re desperate to get laid, one of two things will happen: 1. Nothing. 2. A Girl will turn her back on you.
What is the main cause of desperation, this emotion that girl have an almost supernatural sense of detection for? It is, simply, being ATTACHED TO AN OUTCOME with them.
By getting rid of your attachment to outcomes, you’ll immediately remove “the smell of desperation” from yourself. And what’s more, owning this simple secret can get you laid more often than a great haircut, a killer body, a fat bank account and a new BMW… combined.
You see, if you go out needing to get laid, you drastically decrease your chances of success. It’s one of the supreme ironies of life.
However, the good news is that there is a simple secret to detaching yourself from outcomes.
The answer comes from a new-agey book called A Course in Miracles…
“Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and without anxiety.”
Re-read that statement and ponder it for a second.
While I'm not saying you should start eating sprouts and singing “Kumbaya,” make that quote a mainstay of your life’s philosophy and your success with girl will propel to the stratosphere. The key to being patient is being certain.
You should feel totally certain that, given enough time, your ever-improving personality, confidence, appearance and exciting and interesting life will make success with girl inevitable.
Because you know this, you can turn your thoughts away from any desired outcomes.
No need to constantly think, “Will I ever get a girlfriend?”, because you know that you definitely will. This then eases your feelings of anxiety, anger, or depression, and sets your mind at ease.
It allows you to focus on whatever you’re occupied with during the present moment--whether you’re in conversation with a Girl, doing something fun that you enjoy (e.g., painting,music, extreme sports, etc.), or working at a vocation that you’re passionate about.
You will practice all the things that will make you attractive to girl, and then you’ll allow the events to simply unfold.
So your inner feeling is that what you want from Girl is practically already here. As a consequence, you can feel good knowing that you have already “gotten the girl,” i.e., obtained the success that you seek.
When you become impatient, you literally devalue yourself. Impatience means you don’t trust in yourself.
So the bottom line is, feel certain about the outcome, but set yourself free from the need to care about the how and when your success will come.
Workplace Romances?
Are you dying to hook up with that perfect girl from the Accounting Department… but terrified over office rumors, the humiliation of being rejected, or even sexual harassment complaints?
The basic bottom line of any situation with a Girl is that you really can’t be sure with her unless you make some kind of move (and it’s almost always up to the man to make that move), but with chicks from your workplace, you have a big problem: that she’s from your workplace!
If you make a move and screw it up, you’ll still need to see that Girl every day, subjecting you to a whole host of potential problems.
Well, put your fears to rest. You can eliminate all of your risk… and finally know what it feels like to move your hand deeply up her skirt, as you share a warm slippery kiss… on company time.… by doing this:
Sit back and let her make all the moves.
Girl like a guy who’s a challenge, and by letting her do all the work, you both provide that challenge for her and reduce your risk to zero.
And also, the way you get that perfect girl is…
By no longer considering her your “perfect girl”
You see, that’s the wrong attitude to have! One of the biggest mistakes a man can make is to put all his romance eggs in one basket.
By that I mean that Girl perceive a man as unattractive if there’s only one Girl he really wants and will work to win over.
Though that's the Hollywood ideal of the romantic man, why does that reek of beta male loser status? Because it comes from a frame (or mindset) of scarcity.
An alpha male has a frame of abundance with Girl. As a consequence, it doesn't matter that much what happens with any particular chick.
So with that “perfect girl” at your work, you wouldn't worry about it one way or the other.
Meanwhile you should be talking to/dating/sleeping with as many other Girls as you can. Because believe me, name any quality of that "perfect girl" at your workplace, and there are tons of other Girls out there with the same quality.
So take the opportunity to meet new Girl outside of your workplace, and let the Girl you work with make the moves. For example, if she wants you she'll probably think of an excuse to have you go to lunch with her, such as “I need advice about how I can do my job better.”
Ironically, by letting Girl at your work make all the moves and by being the guy who talks with lots of chicks outside of work, that will increase your odds with that “perfect girl” from the accounting department. Hope you have learned a lot that How To Get A Girl to Like You .
0 Response to 'How To Get A Girl to Like You'
Post a Comment